Surviving Tribulation

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. -- Roman 5:3-5

Be careful what you wished for...

I once thought that I'm invincible. How pitiful human are... Being cocky while feeling doing something humble.
I once thought I'm not fully used by God, me, with all my resources, were being kept as housewife whilst so many things I'm capable to do, that I was kept under the bed whilst I should be out there doing something grand for the sake of God's Name. So I boast... So I boast that it's being idle the only thing I cannot bear. That I can bare tribulation and so on and so on and so on...

Then HE made me see what "tribulation" really are...

I finally found my path in my medical specialty. But at the beginning to it I found my loved one cheated on me.  I boldly pass through this one by looking at him with Christ's eye, pouring out compassion as I believed that he was one of God's lost creatures, that he has sinned and needed to be forgiven, both by me and especially by God.  I believed that God has forgiven him, then so must I.  He needed second chance, and by that I must learn to forgive and forget.  I struggle with forgiveness and trust, and I believe that finally I have got resolution by God's merciful love to me.

Time went by and I stepped into my new life in my learning process.  Suddenly something I'd never imagine would ever happen to me happened.  My boy went sick.  A disease that one could only do nothing but trust.  Wait and trust.  He got an autoimmune disease, called Henoch Schonlein Purpura, that first attacked his intestine, and now involving his kidney.  No scientist knew the etiology of this disease, or how is it's progressiveness, nor the prognosis for sure, so again.... it's nothing but faith and faith alone.

Now Lord... In front of You I state my case:

I have sinned, I have been arrogant, I have done sin, terrible sin that has been forgiven yet had the consequences I had to pay. To YOU, Lord Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, I plea... if it is good for You, please heal my child, Chrysopras Tecza Elijah Rompas.  I believe it was You who woven him in my womb, it was You who delivered and nurture him, and it is You whose in charge of his life, so only from You I ask of this.
But let THY will be done, and only THY name be exalted.
Amen

Lagu Visi GMIM Kristus Manado

Sebuah jalan membentang
jalan yang berliku panjang
Berawal dari pengampunan
dan hati yang diubahkan
Kita melangkah dalam satu visi dan irama
Menjadi gereja yang mewujudnyatakan Kristus
Membawa t'rang Injil dalam dunia yang butuh kasih Yesus
Bersatu sehati melayani dan saling mengasihi
Merendahkan diri, meninggikan Dia
Kristus Yesus


There is a long winding road
stretched in the wilderness of life
It begins from forgiveness of Christ
conversion and renewal of hearts
We walk side by side
in the light of one vision we strifes
To be a church of Christ
that reflects the image of our Lord
To bring forth to the world
the love of Jesus and His Living Word
United in one heart
to love our neighbors, serve with all our might
While bow our hearts alow,
exalted shall He be
Christ Jesus


------++++--------
Specially written for my church
May 2012
Thank you for keeping my family in Christ

Via Dolorosa

Mengapa ya Bapa
jalan ini begitu panjang dan bebatuannya begitu tajam?

Aku lelah
lelah

Sekujur tubuhku perih
hatiku merintih

Pengetahuan ini yang membuatku merana tak ternyana

Andaikan Bapa, andaikan
andaikan aku tak tahu kesudahan bagi mereka
betapa siksa neraka seribu kali lipat sudah menanti di depan mata

Andaikan aku hidup dalam abai seperti mereka,
buta seperti mereka
berpesta pora di tebing Hades yang menganga
pasti cawan itu tlah kutepis

Tapi mengapa
mengapa aku harus mampu melihat betapa sia-sianya dunia
mengapa aku harus tahu betapa ngerinya roh yang binasa
mengapa aku mesti berduka akan kesudahan mereka yang berdosa
mengapa aku mesti demikian taat pada panggilan cinta???

Masih jauhkah bukit itu, Bapa?
Mataku bengkak oleh tangis dan cidera
tak dapat kulihat arah dengan mata dan indera
Namun hatiku terang melihatMu disana
menuntunku dengan cinta

Perih

Sakit

Lemah

Tapi lihatlah! Aku masih berjalan
Ya, tersungkur. Tapi bangkit.
Ya, terbeban. Tapi bernafas.
Ya, merintih. Bukan mengutuk.
Ya, menangis. Bukan menyerah.

Bapa,
tunggu
tunggu aku

Jalan ini berat
namun aku berjalan
pulang
ke rumahMu

(akupun via dolorosa bersamaMu, Yesusku.
Give me strength.)

14-3-2012

minggu-minggu sengsara

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4